Boundaries are a Girl's (or Guy's) Best Friend
As discussed in our Cultivating Positive Relationships video, we talked about boundaries.
Boundaries are simply what’s ok and what’s not okay. Thank you, Brene Brown.
No, you’re not a bad person for not wanting to go out with friends when you know you have an early meeting or flight the next day. Neither are you less of a friend nor partner if you do not agree to go on a shopping spree (home décor, phone upgrades, etc.) because you are trying to save money and pay off your debt (ah, student loans).
Our family, friends and working relationships all need clear healthy boundaries. Why?
Well for starters, it’s the best way to ensure both parties in the relationship are being heard (it's that thing you do with your ears) and it shows a tremendous amount of respect for the other person involved. We all want respect, right?
Of course we do and below are few examples to help set healthy boundaries.
Understand “no” is a complete sentence. You do not need to justify why you are not available to be somewhere or do something. Shonda Rhimes, has a line that we love, “No I’m unable to do that” and move on. People who love you and have your best interest at heart WILL understand and those that give you a hard time, be firm with them. The beauty of being an adult is having the choice to make choices.
Be consistent and open to change. Flexibility is a key foundation especially for humans, as we all need interpersonal skills. The consistency element is simply building a habit. Rinse and repeat. Understand there will be times (especially as a parent) where you’d have to adjust your boundaries to adapt with the changes of life.
Show yourself some love. Boundaries are a little extensions of our own self love. Do you think so? We do because you are honoring a part (or multiple) of yourself. You're being true and authentic with yourself. Nothing is worse than lying or tricking yourself. It leads to neglect and you deserve to be loved. As you fill yourself with love, it blends over into other areas of your life. All of a sudden you find yourself filled with more joy, happiness and abundance. It's magical!
What boundaries do you have in place to better ensure you have the best types of relationships? Please share in the comments below or on twitter.